In training settings, people often share stories that cross back
and forth over a blurry line of truthfulness. In fact, sometimes
these stories can feel downright manipulative. This is one of the
great criticisms and negative perceptions often held about stories
- especially pertaining to their use in organizational settings.
One of my recent webinar attendees emailed me afterwards to ask
about the plausibility of shared stories, which got me thinking
more deeply about the topic.
Stories can function as weapons. There are countless examples of
how people abuse the power of tapping into the emotions and
imaginations of others to coercively manipulate their constructs of
reality. Clear violators, such as con artists, are easy to
classify. However, the question is not a black or white one, or as
Mark Twain wrote, "Sometimes you have to lie a little bit to tell
the truth."
By their nature, stories are fluid. They overlap memories with the
context of the moment. I find stories in collages and clusters to
be more truthful than pinning the entirety of a message on a single
story.
All of the greatest stories are vast universes with an orbit of
small story fragments. The depth and veracity of stories are more
easily perceived when scanning the pattern and intention of stories
in proximity with one another. I am naturally distrustful of
single, isolated, large, and perfect stories with clean beginnings,
middles, and ends, as well as unmistakable story arcs. In many
instances, these stories have already been altered to suit a
particular message.
Stories are creative acts, and I view them as stages on which
themes, drama, and meanings emerge in a process of co-creation. The
narrative is just one part. The decoding and collaborative space
generated by telling a story to trigger the stories of others is
sacred. My experience has been that when this space opens up,
storytelling and listening are authentic, deep, and responsive to
the needs of the moment. The space falls apart when listening
ceases and any one person returns to advancing a singular agenda.
Stories told in the moment will adapt themselves to the language,
vocabulary, and experience of listeners. It is a mark of an
integrated storyteller to share in a way that fits the audience. If
that means elaborating upon an aspect of the story or coloring it
with a nuance of detail previously untold or which stretches the
factuality, then I do not view this as either coercive or
manipulative.
Asking people to become aware of their intentions is a marvelous
starting point. Stories allow us to imagine paradoxes and
contradictions. So I feel that if we become wrapped up in equating
honesty and integrity with authenticity, we miss the richness of
what stories have to offer us.
I'd love to hear readers' thoughts on this issue. Feel free to
contact me at terrence@makingstories.net.