A Day in the Life of a Coach: Some Thought Provoking Questions

I'm on my way to Philadelphia and wondering if I remembered to let the dog in before I left. Like most people, leaving my house to go to work involves steps and passages, lists and projections, chores and ideas.

I like going to work. I've been doing the same thing since 1995. But I haven't been doing the same thing. I've been growing professionally and personally, developing skills, offering them to the world, finding places where they fit. I am a coach: personal, life, executive, and Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder.

One of the skills that I have built as a coach is the ability to ask challenging questions. Sometimes it's a simple one like, "How are you doing?" It all depends on what my client needs, on that day, at that moment. Coaching begins with a line of questioning: direct, deep, and intuitive. The process requires listening with all of your senses simultaneously; it requires a consciousness of what you can touch, taste, smell, hear, feel, and understand. The art of questioning, like the art of coaching, demands my full attention.

The critical questions I ask my clients each day center around one issue in particular: "What do you want?" "What do you want to happen, to feel, to know, to create, or to build?" And, "How do you want to accomplish that?" The synergy of a successful coach-client relationship produces the energy that will propel the client closer to success. That's the name of the game: client success. It takes training, awareness, knowledge, and practice. Powerful questions posed in a private meeting allow the opportunity for a considered response from the client whose professional and personal problems may ordinarily result in foreshortened planning and truncated attempts to acquire what they really want. Commitments to self, insight, learning from mistakes, and success often are achieved with remarkable speed in the presence of a supportive relationship. Coaching offers this opportunity.

Actually, coaching is a lot like driving. You can look at the scenery while you're driving, but you also have to pay attention to the road, other drivers, the weather, your speed, and the condition of your car, to say nothing of the map. Coaching requires the same attention. You've done your job if the client reaches his or her destination.

Client One

Back to my Philly trip. I'm on my way to visit a corporate client who is debating which techniques she might use to delegate more responsibility to her staff. She's typically keeps things close to her vest. She likes directing but feels unsure and lacks confidence when she delegates. I'm wondering, as I drive, whether she reached last week's goal of telling her staff she'd be delegating more because she can trust them to do a great job. I'm betting she did it. She's committed and courageous.

I arrive and meet her at her company. She's not happy with the job she did but thrilled that she attempted it at all. We assess the techniques she tried and their relative success. I add to the list of skills she could use; she examines what she thinks the results might be if she tried them. Then I ask her, "What could happen if you fail?" She's stumped. She said that she was ready to consider new changes she'd make if she were successful but not what could happen if she failed. She ponders.

Her conclusion is that if she fails, the person who will be burdened most is herself. If she fails, she will prove to herself that she doesn't trust her staff. If she fails, she'll acknowledge that change is more threatening to her than growth.

She's not up for failure. She determines that she'll try and accept success one step at a time. She's elated and ready to address her next issue.

Client Two

When I'm finished downtown, I head over to the University of Pennsylvania where I meet another client who's struggling to finish his dissertation. His topic has been accepted, but he's made no progress writing. He talks about his irritated advisor, the possibility of not finishing, the possibility of not getting the job of his dreams, and the possibility of not being able to support his family doing what he's wanted to do for years. Talk about pressure.

His anxiety is off the charts. He paces. I ask him how long he thinks it would take him to write the page 15. He looks stunned by my question. He says, with great irritation, "I don't know what's going to be on the page 15." I ask, "What would it take to know?" He responds, "Well, I'd have to design the first chapter. It's really the easiest." I interrupt, "Design it now. I'm going for a coffee."

I'm back in 10 minutes. He's halfway finished. I stop him and ask how long it will take him to finish the outline if he has to do it before 10 p.m. tonight. He decides he could do it in half an hour. I respond, "Then you'll have the answer to my question, right?" He agrees to leave me a message before midnight with the rough content of the page 15. We'll meet next week.

Client Three

My schedule indicates that I speak with my next client on the phone in an hour and a half. I race up Route 95 to make it to my office on time. Although I could use my cell phone, I'd rather not be driving when I work. I arrive in time for the call. This client has been sent by her company to hone her leadership skills. She's a vice president who's being groomed and needs to make presentations to the public, communicate with effectiveness, and handle negotiations with employee groups. She's used to the work but needs to kick it up a notch to reach the next level of effective leadership.

She's tough. She thinks she's good at presentations, but is continuously evaluated as mediocre. We've made tapes and examined her style and content. She feels her data is dry and her style is pedestrian, autocratic, humorless, and flat. Today she's working on telling jokes and stories as vehicles for information transfer. I ask her how long she thinks it will take to make me laugh. She's amused but underestimates her capabilities significantly. We talk about connecting with the audience, about acting, about turning your face to the group and not to your papers. I'm confident she'll work this through and get better. Will she satisfy herself? She doesn't know the answer to that question yet.

We schedule our next meeting and it's nearly dinnertime. I grab some leftovers and continue to work with two more phone clients in the early evening. By 8:30 p.m., I'm finished with everything. There are no more clients to meet, and I am tired. It's been a good day. I make a list of what I've learned today. More and more that's the form my personal journal takes: a hearty list of what my clients have taught me.

Coaching is a profession in which I have the opportunity to participate in transformation. The better job I do, the more I confirm change. I watch people grow and alter themselves in ways they didn't always expect but in ways that they desire. The better the question, the faster the breakthrough. The more I support new behavior, the more imbedded it becomes. Change holds the opportunity clients yearn for. I let the dog in and sleep well.